From Flesh Gordon to The Sperminator, spoofs of mainstream cultural offerings have long been a staple of the porn industry. Shakespeare porn in particular is surprisingly common, as I found in 2001 when writing an article for Lingua Franca, “The Pound of Flesh.” But here’s something I hadn’t actually seen before: Kubrick porn. In The Sexxxing, a 2005 quickie from Danni.com, a young woman named Miss Torrent applies to be the winter manager of a porn company’s offices—and the place turns out to be haunted by horny, fake-breasted lesbians. Orgasms ensue.

The two clips in the video below are pretty tame, because I edited them that way. But be careful if you’re at work, because there’s a bare breast or two and a few seconds of moaning. The opening titles, in Futura Extra Bold, Kubrick’s favorite typeface, are mine. As is often the case with porn spoofs, this one is an adaptation only in the loosest sense (double entendre alert!), and it was probably filmed in a single afternoon.

There have been several other porn films inspired by Kubrick’s oeuvre, including Spermacus, 2002: A Sex Odyssey, Thighs Wide Shut, and A Clockwork Orgy. I found copies of the last two, but I won’t be posting clips, as they appear to be pretty hardcore all the way through. You’re in luck, though, because I just found the work-safe trailer for A Clockwork Orgy on YouTube. This was made in 1995:

The website Adult DVD Empire has a page for The Sexxxing that isn’t quite safe for work.

And this fake Shining trailer from 2005 is still the funniest thing ever.

When I posted the video of Brian Atene’s Full Metal Jacket audition tape last month, I knew it was possible his performance was a joke, not a serious attempt to impress Stanley Kubrick. After watching the video a few more times, I became fairly convinced that Atene made the tape simply to amuse himself … and I got a sinking feeling that I had fallen for a prank. Whatever his motivations were, the tape is hilarious: If it was a joke, it’s a funny one; if it wasn’t a joke, the hubris and scenery-chewing are stunning to watch.

Well, Brian Atene himself has posted a video response to his 1984 tape, and he more or less admits that the video wasn’t a joke. This isn’t one of the lame fake Atene videos that popped up on YouTube in the wake of the original video—it really is Atene this time.

If you skip the first two (very weird) minutes, this new video is pretty entertaining. Atene seems off his rocker, but he’s also weirdly charismatic. Among other things, he says he didn’t actually send the famous tape to Kubrick; he made two tapes and ended up submitting the other one.

[via someone on Echo.]

Okay, I’ve been AWOL for a while, but I’m coming back atcha with something truly marvelous. It’s a screen test some talentless young actor sent in when Stanley Kubrick was casting Full Metal Jacket in 1984. The hubris on display here is magnificent and awe-inspiring.

[via Defamer.]

One of a series of ads created by Saatchi & Saatchi New York for an apparently fictitious printing company called Hudson Repro:

Graphic-design geeks will probably find this hilarious; most other people will simply be confused. If you fall into the latter category, read this for some insight. Go to Frederik Samuel’s blog for two more from the same series. A fourth ad from the series is here.

[via The Spunker.]

This is simply the best thing ever: a fake trailer for Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining that’s edited to make the movie seem like a heartwarming family tearjerker. The soundtrack song is absolutely perfect.