Created anonymously by a group of professional animators in about 1929, the silent short Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure is a gleeful exploration of the penetrative arts. The four-and-a-half-minute short follows the travails of the uncomfortably well-endowed title character as he wanders a barren landscape in search of satisfaction. Along the way, he encounters a self-pleasuring maiden, various sexually aroused animals, a surprised husband, and a donkey-humping farmer, whom Harton challenges to a duel. A penis duel.

Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure is one of the earliest examples of an animated porn film. According to its Wikipedia page, several famous animators supposedly made the short for a private party in honor of the pioneering animator Winsor McCay, whose work greatly influenced Walt Disney and is still held in high esteem by Maurice Sendak, Chris Ware, and other luminaries.

This totally isn’t safe for work, so be careful.

I’m pretty sure the intertitles in this copy are not the originals.

The Wikipedia page includes this backstory quote from Disney animator Ward Kimball: “The first porno-cartoon was made in New York. It was called ‘Eveready Harton’ and was made in the late 20’s, silent, of course—by three studios. Each one did a section of it without telling the other studios what they were doing. Studio A finished the first part and gave the last drawing to Studio B. … Involved were Max Fleischer, Paul Terry and the Mutt and Jeff studio. … A couple of guys who were there [at the party] tell me the laughter almost blew the top off the hotel where they were screening it.”

This hit the web a few days ago and hasn’t gone wide yet, which is a surprise, because it’s hilarious. It’s the latest top show at Channel 101, the L.A.-based web-video operation also responsible for such brilliant goofballery as House of Cosbys, Yacht Rock, and The ’Bu. This is by excitable House of Cosbys creator Justin Roiland, the funniest writer-actor-animator-director-pervert-scatologist working on the web today. Ladies and gentlemen, 2 Girls, 1 Cup: The Show.

(If you’re unaware of the 2 Girls, 1 Cup phenomenon, make sure you read this Wikipedia entry before deciding to watch this.)

I got out of work at 3 on Friday and had no plans for the rest of the afternoon, so I wandered down to Union Square to catch a 4:40 showing of The Aristocrats, which I’d been meaning to see for weeks. It’s hilarious. If you like movies in which famous comedians tell stories about parents fisting their children and entire families wallowing naked in their own bodily fluids, this is the film for you.

Anyway, about 15 or 20 minutes in, there’s a short scene in which five or six Onion writers sit around a conference room and analyze the dirty joke that is the subject of the film. As the scene begins, the camera is focused on a pile of stuff on the conference table. One of the most prominent things on the pile is the front page of an issue of The Onion. As I watched the slow pan up the table, it took me a second or two to realize that the Onion issue onscreen was the very issue whose cover story—“Non-Controversial Christ Painting Under Fire From Art Community”—I posed for several years ago. I’m right there onscreen for a good three or four seconds before the camera pans up from the table. Here’s the picture that accompanied the story; that’s me in front, wearing an ill-fitting jacket that makes me look twice as big—okay, maybe one and a half times as big—as I actually am.

And so I take my rightful place alongside comedy geniuses like Jon Stewart, Eric Idle, Sarah Silverman, and Taylor Negron.

Here is a video file of the South Park version of the Aristocrats joke as it appears in the film. Completely and utterly not safe for work, so take any appropriate precautions.

First Shakespeare porn, now this (probably not work-safe):

Who knew that Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl were into hot incest action? Or that Elastigirl likes to engage in sticky, athletic sex with Syndrome, her nemesis?

And the Incredibles aren’t the only cartoon characters doing very naughty things behind the scenes: Futurama’s Leela loves getting it robot-style from Bender. Even the characters from The Family Guy are getting reamed in every hole. It’s all happening at the Drunk Toon Party:

Welcome to the Drunk Toon Party! Lots of famous cartoon characters, like world-known families, villains and super heroes, young chicks and guys craving for sex, - are all gathered here! This party brings you extreme hot party fucks, chick blowjobs and drunk lesbos….

Could you possibly imagine that toons could do things like that? Oh, yeah, you probably thought they were fast asleep in their beds. Not tonight. They’re getting really naughty at this incredible party! What’s more, they only got started! Other famous toon heroes promised to come over for some wild fun, too. You can’t miss it! Join us at the hottest party!

The weirdest thing about the site: It isn’t just a repository for lurid drawings by bored, undersexed, underemployed, easily amused illustrators. It’s a commercial operation apparently aimed at people who are actually turned on by this sort of porn. To access anything more than a handful of thumbnail galleries and promo pages, visitors must pay a hefty membership fee: $14.95 for three days, $34.95 for one month, or $54.95 for two months. Are there really enough deep-pocketed cartoon character fetishists in the world to sustain a pay site devoted to Wilma fucking Barney or Fred giving it to Daphne and Velma doggy-style? The site is probably just a vehicle for identity theft or credit card theft, but still.