About Andrew Hearst

I'm Andrew Hearst, a New York-based writer, editor, designer, musician, and gadabout. You can learn a bit more about me here.

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Best of Panopticist
Magazines
The Magazine Covers
TV and Video
Film
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Books
Art and Design
News and Politics
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June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
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November 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
April 2007
February 2007
January 2007
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
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April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005

The Pound of Flesh
Lingua Franca

Such Exquisite Dumbness
The New York Sun

Blue Laws and Black Markets
The New York Sun

The Unimaginative Imaginatist
The New York Sun

One Man's Machines
The Village Voice

David Granger Has Something Stuck Between His Teeth
Mediabistro.com

Tucker's World
Mediabistro.com

Can the Paperless Magazine Make It?
Columbia Journalism Review

Jim Romenesko
James Wolcott
Gawker
Eat the Press (Huffington Post)
Media Matters
Dan Kennedy
Veiled Conceit
Bob Somerby
Roger Ailes
FishbowlNY
Digby

Clive Thompson
Rob Harrell
Maura Johnston
Peter Dizikes
Terri Senft
Tom Igoe
Carrie McLaren
Randall Rothenberg
Chris Allbritton
David Callahan
Rebecca Skloot
Julian Rubinstein
Rob Warner
Daniel Radosh
Mike Daisey
Caleb Crain
Heath Row
Jami Attenberg
Emily Votruba
Chris Millward
David Feige
Emily Gordon
Maud Newton
J. Edward Keyes
Jod Kaftan
Lindsay Robertson
Jen Bekman
Elizabeth Spiers
Lockhart Steele

Talking Points Memo
Jason Kottke
Gothamist
Curbed
Triple Mint
whatevs.org
Low Culture
pullquote
Old Hag
Kung Fu Monkey
Cool Hunting
Cult of Mac
design*sponge
Apartment Therapy
Rake's Progress
Beatrice
The Elegant Variation
Maccers
MemeFirst
Andrew Krucoff
Catherine's Pita
Cityrag
The Fold Drop
escapegrace
Filmoculous
Death May Be Your Santa Claus
Can't Stop the Bleeding
Encyclopedia Hanasiana
Rick's Cafe Americain
Men's Vogue Daily
Heaneyland!
The PreCogs
Jim Affinito
All the Little Live Things
Language Log
Design Observer
Drawn!
music (for robots)
Donkey Rising
Daily Kos
Atrios
Tapped

The Manhattan Project
Watergate-era
conspiracy thrillers

Joe Frank
Don DeLillo
détournement
analog filters
looping devices
Doonesbury
Swiffer
The Beatles
William Orbit
Roth-era Van Halen

Rolf Harris
Steve Garvey
Land of the Lost
my right thumb
Enid Blyton
Roald Dahl
Asterix
Tintin

Erlend Øye, DJ-Kicks

Grandaddy, Sumday

Röyksopp, Melody A.M.

Phoenix, Alphabetical

Van Halen, Van Halen

Fountains of Wayne, Utopia Parkway

Freaks and Geeks
Arrested Development
The Office
The Daily Show
Curb Your Enthusiasm


August 5, 2007
From the Vault: Covers for Vanity Fair, December 2005

Remember The Great Magazine-Cover Spree of 2005-2006? In the fall of 2005, Vanity Fair approached me to do some fresh covers for the magazine’s Vanities section. I worked on a bunch of concepts for them, and four new covers eventually appeared in the December 2005 issue. Here they are; I’ve never posted them before. A few of these have been modified slightly from the published versions.

The hed was “The Celebrity Invasion,” and the dek was “V.F. samples a few of the new star-studded magazines on the drawing boards.”

Celebrity Reports

The National Enquirer as Esquire

(“Esquire” doesn’t have an “n” in it, so I created one by chopping out the “u” and rotating it 180 degrees. Whee…)

U.S. News as OK

The E!conomist

Outtakes from the assignment are here, here, and here.

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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September 10, 2006
This Month in Vanity Fair: Pranking The Weekly Standard

Thanks to something Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes created, the October issue of Vanity Fair has gotten a little bit of attention. The issue also contains something I created: a fake cover flap you can cut out and attach to a newsstand copy of The Weekly Standard. It’s on page 272, in the Vanities section. More details are here.

The Weekly Standard cover flap: Okay, fine, we admit it: The Iraq War was a mistake, and George W. Bush is so stupid he scares even us. Plus: William Kristol on being deluded for six years. Brit Hume on 50 things Michael Moore was right about. Charles Krauthammer on why he wants a do-over on everything--everything!--starting with the 2000 election. Fred Barnes on the joys of not wearing pants.

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categories: Art and Design, Best Of, Magazines, News and Politics, The Magazine Covers

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July 23, 2006
A Panopticist Cover That’s Good Enough to Eat

My good friends Greg and Frankie are getting married next Saturday in Brooklyn. A couple of months ago, they asked me to design their wedding invitation. They came up with the concept, wrote all the copy, and provided the photos, and I designed it and laid it out as four 8” by 10.5” pages (front and back covers with an inside spread). Greg and Frankie are both Canadian, which explains the green card joke, and our pal Clive got a pastor’s license so he can perform the ceremony, which explains the line at the top of the cover. (For the “good enough to eat” part, see the end of this post.)

Us Weekly: Greg and Frankie's wedding invitation

Us Weekly: Greg and Frankie's wedding invitation

Us Weekly: Greg and Frankie's wedding invitation

The back cover was an intentionally cheesy photo of Greg and Frankie with the wedding details underneath it. New York photos by Melissa Hribar; Paris photo by Michel Bourque. The main font used throughout is Relay Comp Black, which you can buy here for $40.

Wait, there’s more! Earlier this month one of Frankie’s co-workers asked me for a high-res graphic of the cover, because people at work wanted to print it onto marzipan for a party for Frankie. Who was I to refuse? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first-ever edible Panopticist cover:

Greg and Frankie's wedding invitation

(The cake was made by Regina at Grandma’s Secrets in Harlem.)

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categories: Magazines, Miscellany

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June 12, 2006
Hearst Launches Seventeen Spinoff for Adolescent Boys

Sementeen

(You know how sometimes you get an idea for a magazine cover, and you sit down and create it, and it makes you laugh, but then you think, Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t post this, because it’s kind of in bad taste? And then you put it aside for a while? And then two or three months later you revisit it, and you find yourself thinking, Hmm, why not post this? And then you spend some time redesigning it, and then you upload it to your server? Like this?)

(The main coverline font is Tobias Frere-Jones’s lovely and ubiquitous Gotham, which you can buy from Hoefler & Frere-Jones.)

(Go to this page for more covers like this.)

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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May 22, 2006
Turn This

Check out this incredibly cool Flash app that lets you turn the pages of a magazine in an impressively realistic way. The magazine in question is put out by a clothing company called Mavi Jeans, and it appears to be a Colors-style corporate spinoff. A very elegant use of Flash technology:

cool Flash app for turning magazine pages

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categories: Magazines

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May 11, 2006
A F*cked-Up Butt**ck Cover

Remember that spoof cover of Parents magazine I created last year to illustrate the hazards of sloppy cover design? A few months ago, one designer ignored my warning. Here’s the cover of Butterick’s Winter/Holiday 2005 catalog:

Butterick, Winter/Holiday 2005

The cover is totally real. It was first noticed by a Canadian graphic designer named Nick Frühling (whose blog is excellent, by the way), and then was picked up last month by Veer’s blog, The Skinny.

(Thanks to my former Book colleague Steven McClenning for the tip!)

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines

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April 17, 2006
To Clarify Its Mission, Us Weekly Adds Four Letters to Its Name

In recent months, the celebrity weeklies have been all pregnancy, all the time. So on some level this makes sense:

Uterus Weekly. Va Va Womb! Jolie's Gigantic! Brad and Angelina's unborn daughter is already more famous, and more sexy, than you'll ever be. We know you're wondering: What's the fetus REALLY like? We went inside to find out. AN EXCLUSIVE U.W. REPORT

(Go to this page for more stuff like this.)

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categories: Art and Design, Film, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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November 7, 2005
In Vanity Fair This Month: U.S. News Goes Lowbrow, Consumer Reports Chases Celebrities, and More

A couple of months ago an editor at Vanity Fair approached me to see if I wanted to try to come up with something for VF. It worked out pretty nicely: I have a page of four new magazine covers in the December 2005 issue. The issue is on newsstands now; it’s the one with Kate Moss on the front. I can’t post the four covers here, at least not yet, but I will tease you with the logotype for one of them:

U.S. News & World Report as OK!

For the rest of this cover, plus three other brand-new ones, see page 288 of the December Vanity Fair. I’m excited to be in the same publication as this guy and these guys, among other fine contributors.

[UPDATE: In August 2007, I finally posted all four covers.]

During the process, I submitted a few design concepts that we decided not to pursue, including an earlier version of the cover below, wherein genetic material from this magazine has been spliced into the DNA of this magazine. I reimagined most of this one over the weekend, so it’s more or less oven-fresh. (As you’ll discover if you check out Vanity Fair, a different but related concept did make it into the magazine.)

Esquire as The National Enquirer. The 2005 Boobiest Achievement Awards. Jessica Simpson: Hall of Fame. Lindsay Lohan: A scar we love. Susan Sarandon: Lifetime achievement.

This cover I posted a few weeks ago is also an outtake from the Vanity Fair assignment. Yes, I know: Too many boob jokes recently. But sex sells magazines!

I probably won’t be doing too many more of these covers—I want to start doing more stuff like this. I have one other cover in mind that I’m planning to create and post in February, for reasons that shall become clear…

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categories: Art and Design, Best Of, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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October 16, 2005
Forbes Goes Lad-Mag ... Sort Of

She dazzled her professors at Stanford. Her company is storming the NASDAQ. She's already worth $23 million. She's also a 36D. The 10 hottest female MBAs. They're so money. In more ways than one.

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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September 21, 2005
A Complete Archive of Mad Covers

Here’s a fantastic trove of every Mad cover from the magazine’s October/November 1952 debut all the way up to the current issue, October 2005. This is the 1952 premiere issue:

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines

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August 15, 2005
Radar Isn’t the Only Magazine Recycling George Lois’s Classic Esquire Covers

As Matt Haber observed last week, the cover of Radar’s September/October issue was art directed by George Lois, the advertising genius who created dozens of classic Esquire covers between 1962 and 1972. The new Radar cover is a parody of a Lois Esquire creation that caused a big controversy in early 1968.

Here’s what no one’s noticed yet: For some time now, George Lois has been happily recycling his old Esquire covers for a bunch of other magazines. The one below is on the newsstand right now. Click on the image to see the Lois original.

Oh my God -- you can see Tara Reid's boob-job scar.

[This post originally contained two more George Lois riffs, but I don’t think they worked as well as the one above, so I took them down…]

(Go to this page for more stuff like this.)

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categories: Art and Design, Best Of, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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August 8, 2005
The First-Ever Inaugural Premiere Issue of OK!

That primary-colored magazine you’ve seen floating out of your local newsstand this past week is the American debut of OK!, a lighter-than-air British import filled with sundry piffle about various B- and C-list celebrities. More interesting than anything inside the magazine is the three-word phrase that runs along the top of the cover:

OK!, August 15, 2005

It’s certainly a premiere issue. And if you’re comfortable postulating the existence of a human being who keeps a permanent stash of landfill-destined celebrity magazines, I suppose you could also call it a collector’s issue. But “Premiere Collector’s Issue”? The phrase can only mean two things: “an issue for premiere collectors” or “the first in a series of collector’s issues.” It might literally be true that this issue marks the beginning of a sequence of OK! collector’s issues, but I’m pretty confident that’s not what the editors were intending to proclaim: “Hey, all you collector’s issue lovers, check it out! Have we got a collector’s issue for you! And if you love this debut collector’s issue, you’ll also enjoy our future collector’s issues, which are forthcoming!”

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categories: Magazines

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August 4, 2005
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Baseball Fan: The 23 Words That Launched My Writing Career

I follow sports about as much as I follow, say, the shenanigans of Paris Hilton—which is to say, very little. But between the ages of nine and roughly thirteen, I was a typical baseball-obsessed American boy. I watched This Week in Baseball every weekend during the season, and I also loved a goofy kids’ show called The Baseball Bunch, which was hosted by Johnny Bench and the San Diego Chicken. The San Diego Chicken!

In 1981, at the height of my Fernando Valenzuela-stoked baseball fixation, a singer named Terry Cashman had a minor hit with a novelty song called “Talkin’ Baseball (Willie, Mickey and the Duke),” a nostalgic ode to Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle, Duke Snider, and 1950s baseball in general. I’m sure I would find this song deeply irritating if I heard it today, but back then I loved it. I wanted to own a copy of the 45, but I couldn’t find it in any local stores.

At the time I was an enthusiastic subscriber to Baseball Digest, a compact little magazine stuffed with profiles, predictions, and statistical analysis; much of the content was syndicated from various major and midsize newspapers. I wrote to the magazine to ask the editors if they could help me locate a copy of the Cashman disc. When I opened up the April 1982 issue, I discovered that my excellent letter was in it.

Baseball Digest letter

I’m not sure if the incorrect restrictive comma before the song title was my fault or theirs, but the same error exists in their response, too, so I’m going to blame it on them.

Here’s the cover of that issue:

Baseball Digest, April 1982

Much to my surprise, Baseball Digest still exists. I have a box filled with all my old issues from the late ’70s and early ’80s; if I still cared about baseball, I’m sure they’d be fun to look through, but, um, I don’t really care.

A 1992 episode of The Simpsons featured a parody of Cashman’s song called “Talkin’ Softball,” and it was sung by Cashman himself. You can listen to it here.

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categories: Magazines

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July 26, 2005
Kurt ’n’ Courtney ’n’ Sassy

So Jane Pratt is stepping down as editor in chief of Jane. Before founding Jane, Pratt was the editor of a certain influential magazine that inspired cultish devotion in people like Daniel Radosh and Erin Edmison. I didn’t really become aware of the cult of Sassy until after the magazine’s unfortunate takeover by corporate goons. But I do own one issue from Sassy’s prime—and the cover is an all-time classic, so I’ll post it here:

Sassy, April 1992

This issue was given to me a few years ago by Mary Schmidtberger, who, as I’ve said before, is the coolest and funniest person ever.

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categories: Magazines

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July 19, 2005
7 Days...

7 Days logo

…is a rough estimate of the average elapsed time between posts here the last few weeks. (Sorry about that—I’ve been super-busy.) But 7 Days was also the name of a beloved New York weekly that existed for about a hundred issues from 1988 to 1990. The magazine is remembered these days partly because it had an unusually impressive stable of writers and editors, many of whom went on to prominent gigs in Manhattan’s magazine-industrial complex. The editor of 7 Days was Adam Moss, who later edited The New York Times Magazine and now edits New York. This 2002 Greg Lindsay piece from Folio magazine is a capsule history of the genesis, short life, and demise of 7 Days.

I attended college here in New York from 1987 to 1991, and I have vague memories of seeing 7 Days on the newsstand. But I didn’t really become a magazine geek until after graduation, so I’ve known of it only through its reputation. I’ve tried to find copies a handful of times over the years, but they’re surprisingly scarce now. The amazing subterranean magazine store Gallagher’s on East 12th Street stocks thousands of classic magazines from decades past; in its cavernlike rooms you can find stacks of Vogues from the ’50s, Esquires from the ’60s, New Yorks from the ’70s, and Spys from the ’80s. But the last time I went there, a few months ago, they didn’t have any copies of 7 Days on the premises, and I got the sense that they rarely, if ever, have any in stock.

So I was stoked a week or two ago when a friend told me she owned a few issues of 7 Days and would be happy to lend them to me. When I got my hands on them—they’re dated January 10 and January 17, 1990—the first thing that struck me was how big they are: 11 inches by 14 inches, or more or less the same size as an unopened New York Times. I had always thought that 7 Days was a variation on the Time Out model: listings, reviews, short features, little else. But these two issues seem more like a cross between a nonsnarky New York Observer and a budget-strapped New York. According to the Greg Lindsay article linked above, 7 Days became more and more like a conventional magazine as its run progressed. I’d be curious to see what the earliest issues were like.

I’d love to own a few copies of 7 Days, so if you have an issue or two you’d be willing to part with, drop me a line at hearst [at] nyc.rr.com. Thanks.

Here are the two covers; I’ll post the editorial masthead after the jump.

7 Days, January 10, 1990

7 Days, January 17, 1990

And now, the masthead from the January 17, 1990, issue:

[Continue reading "7 Days..."...]

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categories: Magazines

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July 11, 2005
Steve Jobs Announces the Latest Addition to the iPod Family: the iPod Harper’s Special Edition

At a joint press conference yesterday at 666 Broadway, Apple C.E.O. Steve Jobs and Harper’s editor Lewis H. Lapham announced a historic collaboration between their two companies: the iPod Harper’s Special Edition.

iPod Harper's Special Edition

“This merging of two iconic designs is exactly the sort of innovation that has made Steve Jobs the most dynamic businessman of his generation,” said Lapham. “From the tasteful use of the Goudy Old Style typeface to the reproduction of my signature on the back, this gadget perfectly captures the essence of the Harper’s brand—and the sound quality is nothing short of Brahms-worthy. I am thrilled to lend the magazine’s name to this ingenious device.”

iPod Harper's Special Edition, back

“The iPod Harper’s Special Edition is a perfect combination of form, function, literary merit, and antiplutocratic politics,” said Jobs. “The massive hard drive and crisp full-color screen are ideal for storing and displaying photographs, and each unit comes preloaded with high-resolution photos of every writer whose work has appeared in the magazine during Lewis’s long tenure: Thomas Frank, Barbara Ehrenreich, David Foster Wallace, Jonathan Franzen—even Christopher Hitchens, though you can easily delete that one if you want to.”

“Total storage space on the iPod Harper’s Special Edition, in gigabytes: 60,” said Lapham. “Amount each one will cost: $399.”

“Number of media legends who came together to create this exciting new Apple product: 2,” said Jobs. “Chance that literary-minded American consumers will find this new iPod impossible to resist: 1 in 1.”

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categories: Best Of, Magazines, Music and Audio, The Magazine Covers

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June 26, 2005
Panopticist Makes The New York Post’s Hot List

two fonts and a dream

A little shameless self-promotion: My Us Weekly-as-Harper’s cover from February is featured today in The New York Post’s weekly Hot List, coming in at number five. (The cover graphic appears in the paper’s print edition but not the online edition.) Also on this week’s Hot List, which is compiled and written by Maureen Callahan: The Daily Show: Indecision 2004, the first-ever DVD from that great show, and Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, the latest book by Freaks and Geeks co-creator Paul Feig.

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categories: Magazines, Miscellany

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June 20, 2005
Jacko Makes the Cover of Bad Touch Weekly ... Again

The creeps at Bad Touch Weekly have put Michael Jackson on the cover again. This must be BTW’s sixth or seventh Jacko cover in a row. Jeez.

Bad Touch Weekly

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines, The Magazine Covers

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Category Era, Redux

You know those magazine covers I design for this site? This one and this one and this one and this one and this one? Well, for your convenience and possible amusement, I’ve finally gathered them together on a new category page called The Magazine Covers. Those covers also appear alongside other magazine-related content on the broader Magazines category page.

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines

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June 14, 2005
Snopes.com Steps In to Debunk a Panopticist Creation

Parents

This is hilarious: The fake Parents magazine cover I created for this website a couple of months ago has propagated itself all over the web, and now it’s earned its own page on Snopes.com, the excellent website that debunks or confirms urban legends. The cover’s distribution gained significant momentum last week when one of the friendly guys at Boing Boing posted it without realizing it was a joke (and without knowing where it came from). He quickly posted a clarification, but the ball was already rolling: The cover has been pulled out of context and posted in all sorts of places (32,615 hits on i-am-bored.com!), almost always by people who had no idea where it came from. Lots of people have thought the cover is real, so Snopes stepped in to debunk it.

In the post where I originally published the cover, I didn’t pretend it was real. I just meant for it to be an amusing (if juvenile) riff on a growing trend in magazine-cover design. So it’s bizarre to see the cover get taken out of context, and to watch credulous people actually wonder if it’s real.

A totally inadvertent hoax! Huzzah!

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categories: Magazines

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May 30, 2005
Direct-Mail Time Capsule

I was going through some unopened mail today and came across a direct-mail pitch from a fledgling magazine. I don’t know how long this sealed envelope had been sitting in my apartment, but I decided to slice it open and check it out. The pitch is made up of several different components, including a letter from the publisher that is so flattering it made me blush. In his letter, the nice publisher assures me that “only a select few will receive this exclusive invitation.” I have been chosen for this offer, he explains, because I am someone “with a curious nature, an acute sense of style, a level of sophistication that matches our own, and a quick and agile wit. … Someone who appreciates good conversation, great writing, and exquisite design.” I don’t know how he knows these things about me, but of course he’s right. Well, okay, I don’t know how sophisticated they are, so I don’t know if their sophistication level matches mine. But the other flattering statements are definitely true.

Anyway, it looks like this magazine is totally filled with celebrities and stuff, so I’m sure it’s awesome. Below is the most elaborately designed component of the pitch; it’s a foldout, so it has built-in suspense. I love all these wacky facial expressions—they totally make this magazine seem so much more fun and sophisticated than all those other magazines that fawn over celebrities:

Eye-opening...

Biting...

Outrageous...

And then, when you open the final fold, you get this:

[Continue reading "Direct-Mail Time Capsule"...]

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categories: Magazines

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May 26, 2005
HBO Consults Larry Flynt for New Marketing Campaign

When my thoughts turn to women being fed into grinders, light comedy is not the first thing that leaps to mind. See the two images below: The first, a print ad currently appearing in various national magazines, is part of HBO’s marketing campaign for The Comeback, Lisa Kudrow’s mock-reality-show sitcom, which debuts on June 5. The second is Hustler’s notorious June 1978 meat grinder cover, a major entry in the pantheon of misogynist iconography. Were the people in HBO’s marketing department actually unaware of this visual echo? Hustler has basically owned the woman-in-a-meat-grinder concept for the last 27 years; did the people at HBO think they could steal the concept and rehabilitate it with help from a cute and wacky sitcom actress? I’m guessing the Hustler connection never even occurred to them. But who knows.

The Comeback

Hustler, June 1978

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categories: Magazines, TV and Video

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May 20, 2005
Bookforum, Thomas Pynchon ... and Alfred A. Knopf, Streaker

The Summer 2005 issue—no, wait, the “June/July/Aug/Sept 2005” issue—of Bookforum is coming out in a week or so, and it contains a special section on Thomas Pynchon. Check out the section’s stellar list of contributors:

Bookforum, Summer 2005

The man on the cover is Irwin Corey, a loopy comic actor whom Pynchon sent to represent him at the 1974 National Book Awards. When the time came for Pynchon to accept the fiction citation for Gravity’s Rainbow, it was Corey who went onstage and accepted the award from a baffled Ralph Ellison. Corey then delivered a bizarre humdinger of an acceptance speech. You can listen to a short excerpt of it here (Windows Media format). And you can read a transcript of the whole thing here.

The 1974 National Book Awards took place on April 18, a mere two and a half weeks after what is perhaps the most famous streaking incident of all time: On April 2, a streaker named Robert Opel bounded across the stage as David Niven was presenting an award at the 1974 Oscars. Toward the end of his Pynchon acceptance speech, Corey expressed his thanks to “Mr. Knopf, who just ran through the auditorium.” (The transcript indicates that a streaker actually ran across the stage during the ceremony, but I don’t think this is true—I couldn’t find confirmation of it anywhere online. For a couple of minutes, though, I was thinking, “Yes! A streaker! At the National Book Awards! Awesome!” How fucking hilarious would that have been?)

[Side note: According to a website I stumbled onto a few minutes ago, the German term for streaking is Nackerblitz, which translates roughly as “nude lightning.” However, there are only about five Google hits for Nackerblitz, so the word is apparently not widely used.]

Update, May 26: Some content from Bookforum’s summer issue is now online, including part of the Pynchon section.

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categories: Books, Magazines

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May 18, 2005
Tod Lippy’s Esopus

Received in the mail the other day: issue No. 4 of Esopus, the elegant and quirky biannual magazine designed and edited by Tod Lippy and published on very thick paper stock. My ultracool friend Lila recently gave me a one-year (two-issue) subscription as a gift, which only confirms her ultracoolness. I love the cometlike blob of melting ice cream on the cover:

Esopus No. 4

Here’s how the magazine describes its mission:

Esopus is a twice-yearly arts magazine featuring fresh, unmediated perspectives on the contemporary cultural landscape from artists, writers, filmmakers, playwrights, photographers, architects, designers, musicians, and other creative professionals. It includes long-form artists’ projects, critical writing, fiction, interviews, and, in each issue, a CD of specially commissioned music.

In November of last year, David Carr of The New York Times wrote a gushy feature about Lippy and Esopus. You can read it here.

I haven’t had a chance to delve very deeply into the new issue yet, but it looks gorgeous. I’m looking forward to reading Daniel Tannehill Neely’s article “Soft Serve,” which the Esopus website describes this way: “A musicologist combed archives and spoke with a number of truck drivers and inventors to chart the evolution of that perennial summer anthem, the ice cream truck jingle.”

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April 4, 2005
Cyber Party, Dude!

Here’s an amusing relic from my magazine collection. What the hell is Colin Powell doing in there? Why is he slumming at the cyber party?

Virtual City premiere issue

Virtual City existed for maybe three or four issues in 1995 and 1996. It had some sort of relationship to Newsweek; I think Newsweek was an advisor and investor. I wrote a bunch of site summaries for an issue or two, back when I was first starting to freelance for magazines.

Despite the incredibly embarrassing cover of the premiere issue, above, and despite the stench emanating from columns written by the short-fingered vulgarian Jason McCabe Calacanis, Virtual City could actually have been much worse. Less forgiving people would have no trouble finding snark fodder within its pages. But from where I sit, it’s clear that Virtual City was put together by editorial and design pros who knew how to create a magazine for a specific niche audience, even if what they created didn’t end up working, and even if the whole thing seems kind of amusing 10 years later.

From its emphasis on reviews and culture-oriented service pieces down to its use of Bureau Grotesque for most of its display type, Virtual City was blatantly modeled on Entertainment Weekly. It was obviously conceived to be the E.W. of the, um, “cyber” world. (Now there’s a word we don’t hear very often these days, thank god.) The magazine’s boosterish tone is a quaint reminder of what things were like back then, almost a decade ago, a mere year or two after the web became the Next Big Thing. Other contributors to the premiere issue: Ben Stein, Nikki Finke, Douglas Rushkoff, Scott Rosenberg. Here’s an excerpt from the editors’ letter, which is signed by Jonathan Sacks, the publisher and editorial director, and Lewis D’Vorkin, the editor-in-chief:

Consider this: On an average day almost anywhere in the world, you can connect by computer to the greatest minds in science, world-class comedians or experts on medieval art. You can phone home from 32,000 feet above Yosemite or from your tractor in the middle of 100 acres of Iowa corn. You can hang out online with Michael Jackson or Michael Milken. You can find a crowd of people who, like you, collect 18th-century thumbtacks. You can make out. Technology is redefining how you make friends, how you communicate, what you know and who you are. It’s the foundation of the Virtual City. With a computer hooked to a telephone line you can move right in. The Virtual City is a distinctly human place, rich with culture, with opportunity, with things to do and people to see. It’s as glamorous as the Miracle Mile and as perilous as a deserted alley, teeming with winners and losers, lovers and haters, geniuses and fools. Take the right turn and you find the Louvre. Take the wrong turn and you land in a place where thugs steal your credit cards. It’s the place where Rush Limbaugh found a wife and Tom Clancy lost one.

Toward the end, the editors’ letter also contains this hilarious sentence, which I assure you is not taken out of context:

This premiere issue of Virtual City is the work of a team of magazine editors, writers and business people.

Really? A team of editors, writers, and business people? You don’t say!

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March 29, 2005
Cover-up at Parents Magazine

In their quest for newsstand “pop,” many magazines design their covers in such a way that the logotype is almost an afterthought. Titles of magazines are often partly blotted out by celebrity heads, torsos, hair, and other body parts. This April 2005 cover of Parents magazine demonstrates the perils of this design technique:

Parents Magazine

(Note that I never said this was the real cover. You can find a lot more of my designs on the Magazines category page.)

(Inspired partly by a brief moment in a recent episode of Arrested Development involving Buster and an alarm clock.)

UPDATE, June 2005: This cover escaped from its moorings several weeks ago and has traveled all over the net, creating a small urban legend in the process. See this June 14 post for the story of how Snopes.com stepped in to debunk it.

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March 17, 2005
Understatement Weekly

Hey, check it out, a new magazine:

Understatement Weekly

(I did this one in Quark.)

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March 14, 2005
“Are You Completely Bald?”

At the first magazine I ever worked for, the managing editor had a ritual of giving all newly hired interns and fact checkers a copy of a 1988 New Republic article called “Are You Completely Bald?” The three-page piece, by Ari Posner and a young, pre-controversy Richard Blow, is a funny, anecdote-filled overview of the subculture of fact checking at The New Yorker, Esquire, Vanity Fair, and other elite New York magazines. I’ve never read an article that captures the fact checker’s duties and mindset as well as Posner and Blow’s piece does. The peg for the story seems partly to have been the recent film version of Bright Lights, Big City, whose protagonist was a fact checker played by Michael J. Fox.

After I left that first magazine and eventually began working in jobs where I needed to hire interns and fact checkers myself, I continued the ritual of giving out copies of this article. At one point I inadvertently gave away my last photocopy and had to replace it by xeroxing it off of microfilm at the New York Public Library.

The article doesn’t appear to be on the New Republic website, and I don’t think it’s on Nexis, either. So I’ll post some of it. I’ll leave it to others to comment on the exquisite irony of a few of the sentences here. I’m posting this partly because I think the Michael J. Fox anecdote is hilarious. This is roughly the first 20 percent of the piece.

[The New Republic, September 26, 1988] ARE YOU COMPLETELY BALD? Adventures in fact checking. By Richard Blow and Ari Posner When Moses climbed Mt. Everest to receive the Eleven Commandments, he didn’t submit them to “fact checkers” before delivering them to the Buddhists waiting below after their 60-year trek through the Mojave Desert. But “fact-checking”—a stage in the editorial process where someone attempts independent confirmation of every “fact” in an author’s manuscript before its publication—is an established and much-cherished institution of American journalism. Or at least some corners of American journalism, primarily magazines. For practical deadline reasons, newspapers don’t have independent “fact checkers,” relying instead on their reporters and editors to get things right. Nor do book publishers usually make any effort to reconfirm the facts in manuscripts they publish. Yet oddly, newspapers and books are the main sources fact checkers use to “check” the facts they approve for publication. If we sound a bit defensive on this point, it’s because The New Republic has no fact checkers either. This is partly for deadline reasons, partly for financial reasons, and partly because of philosophical doubts about whether devoting limited resources to catching the kinds of things fact checking catches is the best way to serve the larger cause of printing the truth. TNR does make mistakes, often embarrassing ones. A while back, for example, we called the victim of New York’s famous “preppy murder” Jessica Levin, not Jennifer. A few weeks ago we gave one of our own authors a middle initial he does not have.

[Continue reading "“Are You Completely Bald?”"...]

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March 4, 2005
A Tastefully Designed Guitar Magazine?

When it comes to graphic design, guitar magazines have historically been about as tasteful and restrained as a ten-minute Yngwie Malmsteen solo. Tackiness tends to drip off the page like sweat from Carlos Santana’s brow. I’m talking about this sort of thing (and this isn’t even an extreme example):

Guitar World, September 1989

Granted, it was the ’80s, and granted, it’s mainly the photo that makes it so awful and comical. (Doesn’t Vito Bratta look like a hirsute cousin of Radar editor Maer Roshan?) But really, folks, this sort of thing is grounds for a war-crimes tribunal. The issue above was published in September 1989, soon after I finished an editorial internship at Guitar World. The magazine’s editor at the time was a guy named Joe Bosso, who eventually left to become an A&R guy at some major record label. In the late ’90s he achieved a small measure of immortality by co-writing episode 10 of the godlike first season of The Sopranos.

For some reason I’ve always felt compelled to save every guitar magazine I’ve ever acquired. In my apartment are five or six boxes filled with hundreds of guitar magazines dating back to about 1984. There is some very unfortunate and hilarious content in those issues, especially the ones from the hair metal era.

All this is why Guitar Player’s recent covers have been such a nice surprise. This is a very elegant and balanced design:

Guitar Player, March 2005

This new cover format is totally unique, at least in the context of guitar magazines. The subject of the cover story is photographed in a tight close-up, and one of his or her guitars is presented against the white background above the photo. I love the black-and-white shot of Nels Cline; I love the fetishization of his instrument; I love the understated logo; I love the way the type is arrayed; I love the white space at the top. More than anything, I love that this cover does not scream at me. The art director’s name is Alexandra Zeigler; I may send her flowers.

Guitar Player has always been the most intelligent and tasteful of the guitar magazines, but even it has perpetrated plenty of design atrocities over the last few decades. I stopped subscribing to it several years ago, so I’m not sure when the redesign happened. I think it was about a year ago. I don’t how these covers are selling on the newsstand, but I hope they keep it up.

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categories: Art and Design, Magazines, Music and Audio

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February 17, 2005
New Blog From Stay Free!

Stay Free!

Stay Free!, the fine Brooklyn-based nonprofit magazine edited by my excellent pal Carrie McLaren, has just launched a blog called Stay Free! Daily. The blog will be maintained by a stable of about half a dozen contributors. Stay Free! comes out twice a year and covers American media and culture from a lefty perspective. It’s great.

Carrie often creates satirical ads and other parodies for the back of the magazine, and I’ve appeared in two of them.

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February 13, 2005
The Surprisingly Retro Design of Sylvester Stallone’s New Magazine

Pea-brained thespian Sylvester Stallone has a new magazine out. Who would’ve guessed they’d go with such an allusive design?

Sly

[I reverse-engineered this in Photoshop this time—not in Quark, as I usually do. Here is the real cover of Sly.]

[Not sure what this is all about? Some insight can be gleaned here.]

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February 6, 2005
If Janice Min’s Magazine Looked Like Lewis Lapham’s

Because sometimes I play around with Quark when I’m bored.

Us Weekly as Harper's

(Go to this page for more stuff like this.)

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February 4, 2005
Dog soft. Reading hard.

From the article in today’s New York Times about a new advertising campaign by Condé Nast:

The theme of the effort, produced by a new agency in San Francisco named Heat, is “The point of passion,” underlined by vignettes of ardent readers hugging, cuddling and snuggling with their Condé Nast favorites. The goal is to promote the ability of magazines to forge strong emotional bonds with readers, and by extension, of magazine ads to form similarly potent connections with consumers.

From the article in today’s New York Post about Star overlord Bonnie Fuller’s potential hiring of political consultant Howard Wolfson:

[I]nsiders say Wolfson’s real assignment would be to burnish Fuller’s reputation, which was golden as she rode rising circulation at Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Us Weekly, but dimmed when Star magazine tumbled and stalled. Fuller is in the second year of a multimillion-dollar contract, and some observers say she wants to buff her image before the contract expires.

Maybe Fuller could reverse her magazine’s declining fortunes, and therefore her own, by following Condé Nast’s lead:

Dog soft. Reading hard.

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February 1, 2005
Microsoft Caught in Sinister Copyediting Conspiracy!

One of the weirder style sheet idiosyncrasies I’ve noticed in recent years is Slate’s use of superscript for ordinal suffixes—e.g., the “st” in “21st.”

That’s not the most gripping sentence to start a post with, but bear with me. As in Chinatown, where a few innocuous clues eventually lead to the discovery of a vast criminal conspiracy, this style sheet tic is the key that unlocks a sinister plot—and it has nothing to do with George W. Bush’s failure to fulfill his National Guard duties in the 1970s. Let’s start with this passage from a restaurant piece today by Inigo Thomas:

The conventional view is that a visitor to New York should get to know as many places as possible in the city, especially its restaurants, no matter how short their stay. … [But] you tend to see and hear more of New York if you go to one place again and again. Pick one saloon: Take, for example, the Café Loup on West 13th, between 6th and 7th. Here, you’re as likely to find interesting strangers who will tell you something of their New York as you are anywhere else. It’s an old Village hangout, once located further east, in the days when William Burroughs was a habitué.

I know of no respectable publication, print or online, that shares this style sheet tic. About the only place you can get away with using superscript ordinal suffixes these days is in signage and other graphic contexts. They would be bad enough in a print publication, but on the web they’re even worse: The conventions of page rendering mean that the superscripts force entire lines of text down and away from the lines above them, wreaking havoc on line spacing. It looks terrible, and there’s absolutely no justification for it. For footnote references, there’s probably no way around the problem, so it’s justified in those situations. But not for ordinal suffixes, which are never superscripted by any knowledgeable copy editor. What was Slate’s copy department thinking when it made this choice?

But all becomes clear when you consider Slate’s long association with Microsoft, the company that launched Slate and owned it for almost a decade before selling it to The Washington Post Company a few months ago. Microsoft has exasperated literate people for years with various seemingly arbitrary defaults built into Word, the most popular word processor on the planet. One of those seemingly arbitrary defaults is the superscripting of ordinal suffixes. A decision made long ago by some illiterate flunky at Microsoft has led much of the English-speaking world to believe that the superscripting of ordinal suffixes is not just okay, but standard.

Was Slate forced to follow some company-wide style sheet? Is there a shadowy Martin Stett figure deep within Microsoft who works to impose the company’s sinister copyediting rules on the rest of the world? Will Slate’s ordinal suffixes drop to the baseline now that they’re no longer propped up by the diabolical Bill Gates?

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January 31, 2005
The Final Decline and Total Collapse of the American Magazine Cover

The final decline and total collapse of the American avant-garde.

Could there be a more perfect encapsulation of the decline of American magazines than this gallery of all 857 Esquire covers since 1933? First look at 1966, a year when the brilliant graphic designer George Lois was churning out one iconic cover after another. Then go to 2004. Or almost any year since about 1981. It’s sad. Predictable, but sad.

The 1996 book Covering the 60’s: George Lois, the Esquire Era collects the best Esquire covers from that classic era, along with commentary by Lois himself.

In 2001 I wrote a column skewering Esquire and its editor, David Granger, for publishing a silly stunt article by Tom Junod.

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January 30, 2005
If You Weren’t So Dumb, You’d Buy Some Back Issues of Might Magazine

The middle section of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius focuses partly on the struggles of Might, the exceptionally good magazine Dave Eggers and several pals published out of San Francisco in the early and mid-’90s. As Eggers himself acknowledges in his hyper-self-conscious preface, the middle section is the weakest part of the book. But Might itself was unusually good. I own eight of the 16 issues that were published before the magazine’s 1997 demise, and I’ll soon own three more: The organization Eggers co-founded to help kids become better writers, 826 Valencia, is selling back issues of Might for $10 a copy.

If I Wasn't So Dumb, I'd Be Reading Might Magazine

The 1998 Might anthology, Shiny Adidas Tracksuits and the Death of Camp: And Other Essays, is still in print, and it contains lots of excellent material. But Might was not just text on a page; it was very much a magazine. The editors clearly loved the magazine format, but they also loved to tear it apart. A fair amount of Might’s humor was based around subtle or not-so-subtle parodies of the sort of idiocy you see in all but the best publications: dopey front-of-the-book charts, simplistic approaches to complex material, lazy headline puns, and so forth. Those elements of Might can’t be reproduced in straight text.

If you like smart magazines but never saw Might when it was around, pick up a copy or two. I assume the profits go to 826 Valencia, which is a 100 percent worthy organization.

The graphic above is a scan of a promotional sticker I acquired at some point in the mid-’90s.

[Via Lindsay, who capped her poison pen for a second and wrote a lovely snark-free mini-essay about what Might meant to her. With endearing defensiveness, Lindsay describes her mini-essay as a “totally unfunny self-indulgent post with a cheesy moral at the end.”]

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January 18, 2005
Bonnie Fuller, Aspiring Intellectual?

[Adding this to the archives…]

In July 2003, soon after lowbrow genius Bonnie Fuller fled the editorship of US Weekly to become the editorial director of American Media, then-Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers wrote, “I’m fully convinced that Fuller’s ultimate goal at US was to make the magazine intelligible to the completely illiterate. That said, she’s presumably being brought into American Media to turn Star and possibly the National Enquirer, The Globe and Weekly World News into serious journalistic endeavors—inasmuch as they feasibly can be serious journalistic endeavors.” Elizabeth concluded her post by suggesting that readers send in mockups of a smartened-up Star and an even-more-dumbed-down US Weekly.

I had a few hours free that night, so I launched QuarkXPress and took a shot at designing a smartened-up Star. Here’s what I came up with (and Elizabeth published it the next day):

Smarter Star

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Scandal Watch

Peter Dizikes has an excellent cover story in Salon today summarizing 34 Bush administration scandals that are worse than Whitewater. Kind of breathtaking to see them all gathered in one place.

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January 12, 2005
American Gentrifier

As Gawker noted in November, the American Gentrifier cover below appears on the flip side of the Winter 2005 issue of Stay Free!, the lefty cultural mag edited by the brilliant and hilarious Brooklyn resident Carrie McLaren. That’s me holding the baby; it was the first time I’d ever worn a Baby Bjorn, and it may well be the last. (The wife and baby are models too.)

American Gentrifier

I had nothing to do with the concept or design of this cover; I simply showed up at the photographer’s studio and did my best imitation of an emasculated Park Slope husband. The issue is being distributed free throughout Brooklyn at cafes and other establishments. If you’re rarely or never in Brooklyn, you can buy the issue for $2.95 at a number of bookstores around the country, including one of my favorites, Manhattan’s St. Mark’s Bookshop. The issue is also available via the Stay Free! website.

Carrie apparently thinks I look like the archetypal clueless yuppie, because this is the second time she’s enlisted me as a model for one of the parodies that appear on her magazine’s back cover. Four or five years ago, I appeared on the back of Stay Free! in an anti-S.U.V. parody:

I'm an Asshole!

Don’t you love how my belt doesn’t match my shoes? Carrie just marched me around the streets of SoHo posing me in front of parked S.U.V.s. They were everywhere. I was surprised to discover just how many of them there are. I have a driver’s license, but I rarely drive, so I’d never really had cause to notice them.

Carrie had this ad made into postcards, which you can buy on the Stay Free! website.

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