Added this weekend: a Best Of archive that brings together about 30 of my favorite Panopticist posts from the past ten months. You really can’t afford to miss this thrilling new category archive.

This exciting compilation contains many recent smash hits—“Judy Miller Finally Goes Off the Deep End” and “The iPod Harper’s Special Edition,” among others—as well as some early classics you might have missed:

• “Seven-Year-Olds Can’t Write Upside Down,” in which I trace my artistic development all the way back to my favorite childhood dinner plate;
• “The Only Interesting Thing About Paris Hilton,” in which I share a not-widely-known nugget of trivia about the overexposed, undereducated heiress;
• “Bill Laimbeer Was a Sleestak,” in which I reveal that Bill Laimbeer was, in fact, a Sleestak;
• “Microsoft Caught in Sinister Copyediting Conspiracy!,” in which I expose Bill Gates’s ongoing efforts to crush longstanding English formatting rules; and
• “Entry Points,” my first-ever post, in which I explain the origins of this site’s name, among other things.

Regarding the album whose cover is parodied above, don’t pretend like you didn’t dance around drunk to it at least once in high school or college. Or maybe during a candy-induced sugar high in elementary school. I know your secrets, people.